SHORT STORY: If Only You Knew - PART 12

Shon

Christmas turned out to be a beautiful day because I chose to focus on the positive. The kids enjoyed all of their gifts. We even made cookies and built a gingerbread house together. James bought me some jewelry along with a new bag and money to pay off the loan on my shop. It would finally be all mines, free and clear. I bought James a nice watch and a certificate to a day spa for a year worth of free massages. The best gift of all was hidden in a red box with a gold bow on it. I thought I’d add a cute spin to it and tag it to Jimmy (which I rarely call him by his nickname) from your secret admirer. I guess I can’t take all of the credit. I was so busy at work the last couple of weeks before our trip. I had Laila put my pregnancy test in a box for me and drop it off to Alexis, James’s assistant. James had already told me his plans for getting the children’s gifts to the island so I just added that box to the shipment. Alexis was sworn to secrecy; even though she had no clue what was in the box. I didn’t even want James to know that Laila had stopped by the office. James could be slick when he wanted to be so if he found out, I knew he would go snooping around for his gift. He was a big kid like that.

I wanted this trip to be one we would never forget. It’s clear that I put too much pressure on everything being perfect, I almost let grown folk’s drama ruin the trip for my boys all together. I imagined me, James and the boys arriving to the island and spending the first day lounging and taking in the scenery without any distractions. I would wake James and the kids up to a home cooked breakfast then we’d watch the boys as they ripped open their gifts. James and I would then exchange our gifts with one another. I would intentionally leave the red box under the tree. James would realize that he had another gift addressed to him. He would open it and look up at me in confusion which is when I would announce that we were expecting a baby. Didn’t that sound picture perfect? Well, so far this trip hasn’t gone anything like how I imagined. This muthafucka decided to hang out at the bar all night like I wasn’t upstairs waiting to get dicked down. To make matters worse, I had to roll up on him at 1 o’clock Christmas morning only to find his ass sitting at the bar sweating like a n***a going to jail with his zipper open and miss thang conveniently sitting next to him. He tried to play it off like he was drunk, but I know better. When you’ve been around a person long enough, you tend to learn their ways; what makes them tick. I know how James behaves when he is drunk and Christmas Eve, James was not drunk which put even more confirmation on my suspicions. You see, what I hadn’t told anyone was that I had a feeling James was having an affair. I tried my best to convince myself otherwise, but the more I did that, the more God put it in my face. It wasn’t until last night did I know who the mistress really was…Miss Laila Watkins.

It all started making since to me now; how his whereabouts weren’t adding up; how he would conveniently call me back after I had spoken to Laila; how he was sitting at the bar with his zipper open and his dick exposed. Most of the time, James wore the cotton boxers that were designed with two small buttons in the front. The only time that he would keep his pants up and unbutton his boxers is when we were trying to get a quickie in or were around people and didn’t want them to know we were having sex. Yes, we were freaky like that sometimes. Otherwise, when he had to take a piss, he would undo his pants and pull his shit out, hold it over his boxers then put it back in his boxers when he was done. That’s right. I even knew how my man took a leak. Luckily for James’s sake, we have not had to deal with any sexual transmitted diseases. With that being said, the only time my man has white stains on his head is after sex. Everything started playing back in my head, the more I thought about it. The night that I was tripping with James about him always coming home late and never making time for me, I knew I heard Laila’s voice. Initially, I shook it off thinking I was tripping. I know for sure now that my ears were not deceiving me.

As I mentioned, I had been seeing signs of infidelity for a little while now, but didn’t want to believe it. The good thing is that I dealt with the heartache and pain of his cheating way before I had factual proof. At this point, I’m just going through the motions. Mama didn’t raise no fool so game on bitches. I put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and I’ll be damned if I left empty handed. I was gonna play my position until I got everything I wanted and needed. Fuck James! My main goal was to get my shop paid off so I wouldn’t have to stress about monthly payments to a lean holder and James made that happen. That’s the least he could do. I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t feel betrayed by Laila. I was hurt; however, I know what kind of hoe Laila is so I couldn’t expect too much loyalty from her. If this would have happened a few years ago, I would have beat the brake off her dusty ass, but I’m trying to handle my business differently now that I’m a business woman. I have to protect my brand. I worked too hard to lose it all on a hoe that at the age of thirty-five, would still let n***as run a train on her. Not to mention, it would be crazy for me to fight over a n***a that clearly don’t give a damn about me.

So again, I put all the negative stuff in the back of my mind. I only focused on the positive. I made sure the boys called their dad and wished him a Merry Christmas. My plans are to let them go spend a couple weeks with him once we get back since he missed out of Christmas. Don was very supportive father unlike a lot of men in these types of situations. Don’t get me wrong, some women make it difficult for men to remain cordial with them. It’s 50/50; give and take. We promised each other that no matter what, we would make our children’s health and wellness our number one priority. After the boys ended their call with Don, they went to the room to play with their new toys. All of a sudden, Donte Jr. brings me a gift that he found in the corner of their room.

Feeling amused at James’s half ass attempt to hide the gift, I shoved it in his face and made him open it. He didn’t think I had caught on to him earlier as he was himming and hawing in a poor attempt to distract us from the red box.

“Open it.” I said in a flat and cold tone.

James hesitated for a minute, but eventually gave in. From his facial expression, I could tell he wasn’t thrilled. His next words were, “baby, I can explain.”

To be honest, there was nothing to explain. It was clear that his was raw dogging us both and thought the pregnancy test was from her. That would also explain why he tried to hide the gift, but now is not the time to let my left hand know what my right hand is doing.

“Explain what? I’m pregnant!” I said forcing a smile on my face.