SHORT STORY: If Only You Knew - PART 1

PART 1:

I was feeling so relaxed as I sipped on my second glass of moscato. The sounds of Ro James’s “Permission” filled the house as Jimmy danced from side to side as I looked on with a smile on my face. You’d have to know Jimmy to know that he would never dance in front of anyone unless he had liquor in his system. I started laughing after he did some kind of dip move and then spun around like he was one of the temptations. I cannot pin point exactly when I started to fall in love with him, but there was no denying the fact that he had my heart. I was in the deep end of love without a life jacket and didn’t want to be saved. Over the last couple years, Jimmy has been my friend, my confidant, my comforter, and my lover. And chile let me tell you…he is good at being them all. We have such an amazing chemistry which makes the times that we share together that much sweeter. Jimmy has a thing for thick girls with fat asses and I definitely fit the bill. We’ve been so caught up in each other lately that I totally forgot this Christmas Eve makes, what some may call, our two year anniversary. The sad part is we can’t even celebrate the way we’d like to because he already has plans. He is taking his fiancée and children to the tropics for the holidays and they fly out on Christmas Eve. Oh, did I forget to tell you that he was engaged? I know what you’re thinking, but I fell for Jimmy long before my best friend, Shon, introduced us.  Jimmy and I met at a bar called Micky’s one night in uptown. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and Jimmy was just stopping in for a quick drink before heading home. I had on this blue fitted bondage dress with the back out and blue Giuseppe heels. My hair was pinned up so not to take away from the sparkle of my diamond earrings. My makeup was on fleek. Hunny, I was beat for the gods and my pearly white smile that cost every bit of $8,000 was a mere highlight. From the outside I appeared to be happy, but I was heartbroken on the inside. The night before I met Jimmy, I found out that my boyfriend had gotten another woman pregnant. After I cried all that I could cry, I had to remind myself that I was a bad bitch and it was his loss. I told myself that I would not rush into anything serious. I just wanted a boy toy or two just to have fun with. The next day, I decided to get all dolled up and head to Micky’s for a couple of drinks. I was sure that someone there would peak my interest and I could start the next chapter of my life off with a bang…literally. A few years ago, I would have sneered at the very thought of a one night stand, but now, I was actually entertaining the thought.

I sat down at the bar and asked for a cosmopolitan. I was a bit nervous so I quickly swallowed my drink in hopes that it would help me relax. Before I could get the attention of the bartender for a drink, I here this deep voice say, “give me a double shot of henny on the rocks and another round of whatever she is drinking.” I smiled and said “thank you.” I hadn’t noticed the unknown man sitting two stools down from me. I guess I was so caught up in my own emotions that I had tunnel vision.

“What brings you here?” The mystery man asked.

“Well, if you really want to know. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I thought I would get out of the house and get some fresh air so here I am.” I replied with shrug.

“Is that right? He had to be pretty damn foolish to let you slip through his fingers.” He said will pulling at his goatee.

“Hey, I don’t make the rules. He made his choice and it is what it is. At this point in my life, I just want to have fun.” I began to loosen up.

What was intended to be an hour stay turned into more like four hours of conversing. We probably would have continued drinking and talking if it were not for the fact that he had an early meeting the next day. We both agreed to meet up at Micky’s again the next evening. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months of us hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. On Christmas Eve, we decided to make it unofficially official. We made time for each other but we didn’t get too caught up in each other’s lives. We just kept it light and fun. I thought I could handle it, but the following year, on Christmas Eve, I was invited to a Christmas party at my best friend’s house. I knew most of the people there because she and I had been hanging tough since high school. However, there were a few new faces to which Shon introduced us. Everything was going well until Jimmy walked through the door and Shon said, “Laila, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, James.” When I looked, I began choking on the drink I had just swallowed. Quickly regaining my composure, I stood up from the couch and shook his hand, “So nice to finally meet you James. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally put a face with the name.” I stated sarcastically in a code that only Jimmy could understand. Before you start to judge me (there will be plenty of time for that later), when Shon would talk about her boo thang, she always called him James. When I met James, he told me that his name was Jimmy. I guess he wasn’t telling a complete lie. Jimmy was his nickname, but his government name is James Ray Collier. To say the night was awkward as hell would be an understatement. I attempted to enjoy the festivities the best that I could, but as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I got the fuck out of dodge. Little did I know, he was planning to propose to Shon on Christmas. When Shon called me excited about her engagement, I had to pretend that I was happy for her. I mean, don’t get me wrong. She was my best friend so naturally a part of me was genuinely happy for her. I just hated that she was now engaged to the man that I had become so comfortable with. I couldn’t believe that I had caught feelings for a man that was already taken. Like I mentioned before, we didn’t talk too much about our personal lives, but I was aware that he was seeing someone. He didn’t mention this until six months in. However, he led me to believe that our unofficial official situation would hopefully lead to something more tangible in due time.  Clearly that was pure bullshit! I guess that “unofficially official” title was a sucker move to keep me from dealing with other guys while he had his cake and ate it. Nevertheless, I continued to see him for my own selfish reasons. He had the ability to make me squirt over and over and over again. Hell, I was addicted and he was my kryptonite.

Jimmy’s phone started ringing instantly killing the mood. I hated when Shon would call our man when it’s my time to have him. I turned down the music so he could answer the phone.

“Hello?” Jimmy answered.

“Hey baby. How are you?” Shon asked.

“Busy at work. You would not believe the day I’ve had.” Jimmy lied.

“Why don’t you come to my house tonight and let me help you relax.” Shon purred into the phone.

“Damn baby…that sounds so tempting, but I’ll be working pretty late. Can I get a raincheck?”

“If we would just go ahead and move in together, this would not be a problem. I’m tired of having to wait for you to get off at a decent hour so that I can see you. We’re getting ready to get married anyways. Why do we have to wait for the wedding before we move in together?” Shon asked with irritation in her voice.

“I’m not about to have this argument with you right now. I will try my best to get out of the office at a decent hour tomorrow and head straight over to you and the kids.” Jimmy tried to reason with her.

“Okay.” Shon pouted then hung up.

Jimmy starred back at me in an attempt to read my facial expression. He knew I was irritated, but what could he do. He was stuck between a wall and a hard place. Realistically, what he and I shared should have never went this far and now he was starting to catch feelings as well.