LIFE AFTER DEATH

Losing a loved one is an experience that forever alters the course of our lives. When death occurs, it leaves behind a void—a space once filled with laughter, shared memories, and companionship. But what happens to those left behind? How does death impact them, and where do they go from here?

I remember having this conversation with someone recently about death being the hardest on those left behind. Death does not have a specific way of showing up, it just does. There is no proper way to plan for it; transitions are inevitable. Acceptance is not required. We are, often times, suffocated by the rollercoaster of emotions—sadness, guilt and anger to name a few. Those left to pick up the pieces spend a lot of time recanting different scenarios (“what could I have done to change the outcome), replaying last moments and savoring the memories that reel in a glimpse of happiness during such a time of sorrow. There is not a guidebook that teaches us how to process the pain or the absence of those that we love. I’m going to be honest with you, there isn’t a time limit to grieving either. Three days ago, marked the 10th year anniversary of my husband passing away. This marked ten years for my father as well. I lost them three months apart in the same year, all while trying to navigate motherhood for the first time. Ten years is nothing when it comes to grief. I would be lying if I said that the pain eventually goes away. Maybe for you, but not for me. Every day is like it happened the day before. I simply learned out to cope with the pain. Pain becomes your new normal at times. You don’t have to look for it to know it’s there. You dress it up and wear it like an accessory to a nice outfit. There are several ways to deal with pain. Never allow anyone to tell you how to handle yours. Embrace it all and do what works for you.

There’s no roadmap for life after death. Each person’s path is unique, shaped by memories, love, and resilience. As survivors, we honor our loved ones by continuing to live, even when the pain feels insurmountable. We find strength in community, compassion, and the shared human experience of loss.

So where do we go from here? We move forward, one step at a time, carrying our loved ones’ memories in our hearts, forever changed but still capable of finding hope and meaning in the midst of grief.

Remember, you’re not alone. Reach out to someone when you feel that load is becoming too heavy to carry alone.

Peace be with you.